


Project iPod: Anna

by ensign_amy



Series: Project iPod [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ensign_amy/pseuds/ensign_amy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean isn't the only person educating Castiel in terms of music.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Project iPod: Anna

**Author's Note:**

> AU for 5x13. But really not.

1\. Writings On The Wall – The Album Leaf  
When he came to her location, he found her staring up at the brick wall of a building, palm pressed to the freshly painted letters. To anyone passing through the alley, it would probably be regarded as run-of-the-mill graffiti.

That was when he realized Anna was trying to shove something into the pocket of her coat. He was familiar with the iPod and its function because Sam Winchester owned one, much to his brother’s chagrin. Castiel figured it had to be an infernal contraption, seeing as he witnessed Dean fling it derisively into the backseat on multiple occasions.

“You shouldn’t be contacting me,” he said, the sight of Uriel’s charred wings still fresh in his mind. “And why do you even have that?”

Anna shrugged, regarding the music player. “Small comforts. I thought you might like to see this,” she said, businesslike as ever. “Alert everyone upstairs.”

_The writings on the wall will scream at us_

The word ‘Croatoan’ was dangerously evident, and though all of the seals hadn’t been broken yet, it still wasn’t a good sign. It told him that no matter what the garrison or the Winchesters did, the Apocalypse was looking like a more and more likely event.

She didn’t give him much of an opportunity to reply before she was shoving the iPod into his hands. “Here,” she said, closing his fingers around it. “I think you need a small comfort more than I do.”

She was gone before he could protest. Or even ask what a playlist was.

 

2\. The Killer Anna – The Medic Droid  
Castiel didn’t know why he’d kept the object. He certainly hadn’t admitted to experimenting with it, though he had. The first time had been while he was waiting on the side of the road, suddenly remembering he had it at all.

_She's got a killer's grin on - or maybe I'm just too jaded now._

He figured it couldn’t have been any different from the mobile phone. It was small, it was electronic, and rectangular. Nothing he couldn’t figure out. Except the wheel he was supposed to rotate annoyed him, and coming across something called Helena 2 was decidedly a disturbing experience, though it sounded like something Dean would appreciate. Humans had an interesting outlook on what words were supposedly meaningful.

And he didn’t even want to know what a ‘disco stick’ was.

So such an ironic title as what ‘shuffled’ up next didn’t affect him until months later.

The electronic sounds were scratchy, bordering on unpleasant, and half the time he wasn’t even sure if the lyrics he was hearing were being heard correctly. Still, they brought him back to her. Betrayed, hurt, and angry – still wanting to do what needed to be done though Castiel himself couldn’t bring himself to let her.

“Sam Winchester has to die. I’m sorry, but we have no choice.”

As soon as he saw Sam again, Castiel discreetly asked him to somehow dispose of the song while he prepared the locator spell. He had no desire to hear it again. All of Sam’s comments about his even having an ‘iPod’ went ignored.  
 _As you say that you care, I know you don't._

 

3\. Street Lights – Kanye West  
It made him think of their first kiss. It was freezing that night, and Anna was furious with him. As soon as they were safely on a street corner somewhere, she began shoving him. He hadn’t been very steady on his feet – there was very little he could do to keep from stumbling. He suspected he’d be spending the next few days lying in the back of the Impala if he even survived this encounter.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Anna asked. “You were supposed to stay asleep! You weren’t supposed to…!”

“Had I not gotten involved, Michael would have killed you,” he grunted, holding his side.

It hurt for some reason, and in order to stay upright, he leaned on the nearest car. There was no one around, or else people would have been staring.

There was so much anger in Anna she was close to tears. Castiel had no idea how to prevent that. “Why do you care?” she demanded. “You’re the reason I have to do this!”

“Then you admit it,” he interjected calmly. “Your agenda is not yours alone.”

She was certainly confused. He was also certain Sam and Dean were confused since he’d simply grabbed Anna and left. Really it was all he had the strength to do – he was only surprised Michael didn’t give chase. Then again, his intended vessel was standing right there and he wouldn’t miss the opportunity to try and talk Dean into saying yes.

Anna whimpered, tears spilling down her cheeks. “You sold me out! You let them take me when I trusted you!”

“It was a mistake I’m not about to make twice. You would have burned.”

When he tried to reach out for her again, she slapped him away, near hysterical. “You just don’t get it! If Sam dies, none of this has to happen! No Apocalypse, no losing your powers and being weak, no bad memories! I’ll get to stay on Earth, I don’t have to remember being like you! We’ll be happy again!”

He sighed, looking down. “I wasn’t happy after you Fell.”

The admission only seemed to annoy her, causing her to throw her arms up. “How would you even know?” she asked. “You can’t just give me up to people you know are gonna hurt me and tell me that!”

“I’m sorry they hurt you,” he said darkly, remembering how they’d hurt him as well. “But if you’re angry, lash out at me. Don’t include the Winchesters.”

“So what?” she asked. “We’re gonna fight? Is that really what you want? You can barely stand up right now!”

He winced, pulling himself into a more upright position, knowing this could very well be the last conversation they ever had. The air was cold to begin with, but with his weakened vessel and fading Grace, it felt uncomfortable against his skin. He’d never shivered before.

“If you’re going to continue with your mission, then I’ll have to find the strength,” taking a cautious step towards her. “I won’t let you harm Sam or Dean or their parents without a confrontation, Anna. One of us will have to die here.”

Something in her eyes softened. “Then why did you even save me in the first place?” she asked, her voice broken and bordering on a whisper.

Telling the truth had always come easily to him. He would have even gone so far as to admit that he hated lying, but his first inclination was to do just that. For some reason, he couldn’t meet her eyes. He didn’t know what that meant, but he forced himself to, hoping it would be enough.

With Anna being Anna, it took her all of ten seconds before she gave a little huff of either exasperation or disbelief. “I should have known,” she said, rolling her eyes.

There was a certain sinking tension in the abdomen of his vessel. He didn’t like it. “It displeases you,” he said, his tone neutral.

This is what rejection feels like, he thought. It suddenly made sense to him why humans were so reluctant to share their true feelings with each other. Anna seemed to notice his discomfort and bit her lip, obviously choosing her words carefully.

“You don’t know that what you feel for me is really that,” she said gently. “All these centuries and you’re still growing. How do you know that’s what you feel when I’m the only female you’ve had a close relationship with?”

He thought of Chastity and he thought of Meg – neither of which he’d spent extended amounts of time with. Ellen and Jo had seemed more like comrades, nothing more. Anna had a point.

He nodded, still reluctant to make eye contact. It was definitely a human feeling, and it bothered him that it only seemed to happen with her. That was when she cupped the side of his face, her hand chilled from the air. “You’re confused right now,” she continued. “And it doesn’t change anything. You can’t just fix everything that’s happened.”

Castiel hadn’t expected to – he wasn’t sure what he’d expected, really. He’d just sensed she was in trouble and it had nothing to do with Sam or Dean catching her off guard like they’d intended. He really hadn’t wanted any further harm to come to her.

She brought her face closer to his until their foreheads were touching. Anna’s face was wet from crying – he didn’t know what to make of it, so he stayed put. Though he didn’t sense an oncoming attack, he had his sword up his sleeve just in case.

Instead, there was only a light press of her lips against his. The initial shock led him to gasp, his first instinct to recoil as he had with Chastity and Meg alike, but Anna simply stroked her thumb over his cheek and his eyes slipped closed. Her mouth was wet too, but warm. Pleasant. She didn’t push him into much more and he didn’t push back, terrified that he would disappoint her by being inept, which was ridiculous since he already had disappointed her.

And just as soon as she had advanced, she pulled away, save for the contact of their foreheads and her hand on his cheek. He didn’t want to open his eyes. “Thank you,” she said softly.

When he opened his eyes, she was already gone.

_Life’s just not fair._

 

4\. Are You Hurting The One You Love? – Florence & the Machine  
After that, Anna had avoided him and everything to do with him on purpose. Which, naturally alerted a certain cherub not long after. Despite the lack of clothing, Anna hadn’t minded the cherubs as much as some angels might. She’d always thought they gave the best hugs. However, they also had the worst timing.

“Oh thank God you’re still alive!” he said, squeezing as hard as he could and lifted her off the ground.

“It’s nice to see you too,” she grunted, smiling through the pain.

After all, this hug could easily be her last and if it hadn’t been for Castiel’s misguided rescue, she wouldn’t have been hugging at all. Though she did feel as if her vessel might’ve been bruised when he finally put her down.

“So what have you been up to?” she asked. “You look good, Cupid.”

The great child pouted, his eyes filling with tears. “You haven’t heard?” he asked. “I was accused of making my assignments kill each other.”

Anna sighed. Three guesses who would’ve come to that conclusion. “They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

Because honestly, Anna didn’t take well to people picking on the cherubs – they were entirely harmless, despite being a bit abrasive. She’d even scolded Gabriel on occasion, something which had made Lucifer and Raphael laugh at him for centuries.

“One of them hit me,” he said, sniffling. “Even after I told him we only had the best intentions.”

Dean, she thought immediately.

Anna stroked his face softly, wiping his tears. She hadn’t played the part of the big sister in quite some time. “He didn’t mean it,” she said, shushing him softly. “He just gets defensive sometimes. It wasn’t you.”

Cupid nodded. “Annael?” he asked.

“Hm?”

“Why don’t you want to see Castiel?”

Oh no.

Anna drew back slightly. “You saw him?”

Cupid nodded. “I had him read my mind to prove my innocence. He’s really sorry for what he did – he misses you. It hurts.”

That made Anna all the more nervous about what exactly Cupid had seen and how much. Then again, it was Castiel.

She sighed again. It was liable to be a long conversation.

 

5\. Turn and Turn Again – All Thieves  
Anna remembered their second kiss better than their first. Their first had been out of gratitude and possibly a small fraction of pity. He was Castiel, after all – sweet, naïve, and dutiful Castiel who’d always been quiet and obedient for as long as she’d known him. Even as an angel, he wasn’t really the sort she would have chosen to pair herself with. What he’d done to her aside, he may have chosen an attractive vessel, but the human Anna had always been drawn to men more like Dean Winchester. Anna the angel didn’t know what to think. She’d loved him once maybe, but not quite in the same capacity that Castiel apparently loved her.

What she did know, was that it was definitely the end of days and that Castiel was hurting. From Dean’s seeming lack of concern for him to burning out what was left of his Grace, she knew he needed her.

It was very late when she deemed it safe to appear to him – everyone else was asleep, but he was sitting up in Bobby Singer’s kitchen, nursing what looked like a sixth or seventh beer. She tried to ignore that, noticing instead the cuts above his eye. She found she wanted to heal him but she knew he wouldn’t allow it. And he looked smaller without the trench and the suit jacket.

He didn’t look up at the sound of her fluttering wings. “What do you want?” he asked, taking a sip from the bottle in front of him. “I thought you would have made another attempt on Sam’s life much sooner.”

His speech was a little slurred and it made her heart ache. This was not her Castiel. “You know that’s not why I’m here,” she said calmly, drawing closer.

“If it’s shelter you’re looking for, I can’t help you,” he said. “I doubt you’ll find much here, but if you’re willing to look past Sam and Dean’s likely distaste for your presence, I suggest you take it up with Bobby.”

She decided a lead-in conversation wasn’t possible. If she didn’t want him taking up a kitchen knife to banish her in the next thirty seconds, she needed to get to the point. “Sam is going to say yes to Lucifer tomorrow,” she said simply.

“If we can gather enough demon blood in that amount of time, yes,” he replied.

“And that means you and Dean will be going with him,” she continued. “Except you’re human now.”

_I am human and you are human too._

He took another long sip of beer, wincing. “I’m aware of what’s likely going to happen, Anna. It doesn’t much matter,” he said bitterly. “This is what I rebelled for.”

She shook her head and gently began prying the bottle from his fingers to set it down by the sink. She brought herself as close to him as she could without touching. She more or less had him pinned between her and the kitchen counter. “If this is the last chance I ever get to see you…” she said quietly.

Castiel sighed, averting his eyes to the floor. “I’m aware of the ‘last night on Earth’ speech,” he said darkly. “I learned about it when Dean propositioned Jo.”

Anna closed her eyes. “Just kiss me,” she whispered.

“This isn’t necessary,” he insisted. “I may be slightly inebriated, but I understand that you don’t return what it is I feel for you. There’s not need for…”

He predictably fell silent when her lips touched his. He tasted different as a human, unsure and maybe even shaking a little, but the fact that he still wanted her was very evident. Clumsily, his hands found her hips and Anna smiled around the kiss, making sure to keep her own grip on him light as to not hurt him.

Silently, she taught him what to do – how to control the pressure of a kiss and what to do with his tongue. He caught on quickly – as soon as he gained a little confidence, he found other things to do with his hands, one tangling in her hair while the other explored cautiously, trailing up from her hip to her ribs and back down again. She allowed it, knowing he likely didn’t even realize he was doing it.

And while she tried not to listen to them, his thoughts were so damn loud. For all she knew, he might have intended for her to hear them – that she was dear to him, that he would gladly take care of her, that he was sorry, that he wanted to please her, and that he’d loved her for so long. This was Castiel more or less saying all the right things.

He deserved a nice last night on Earth. He deserved to feel as if someone loved him for once in his existence. She could give him that.

 

6\. Grace – Kate Havnevik  
 _Nothing comes easily - fill this empty space_  
"They wanted me to come back."  
Anna was a little surprised to see him – so much in fact that she nearly knocked the iPod, speakers, and everything else onto the floor when she tried to come around the edge of the table.

He looked visibly shaken, as if he’d spoken before he thought about it. Pale even, though that didn’t make sense because she was sure he’d transported himself to her location. Which was a tiny hotel room in Halifax and about as far away from Lawrence, Kansas as she could will herself without exhausting her reserves entirely.

He hadn’t wanted her help in the confrontation against Lucifer and Michael.

“I…I declined,” he said, trembling. “Because if I accepted, I likely wouldn’t be able to return here. I have no desire to separate myself from you or Dean.”

Terror, Anna realized. Pure, unadulterated terror, and rightfully so – his power, though revitalized, was going to fade permanently now, and those few days spent as a mortal would become the rest of his existence.

The same as her.

Except she knew he wouldn’t allow just anyone to see him this vulnerable.

“The Apocalypse is over,” he said, eyes pleading.

Anna shushed him softly, hands coming up to cup either side of his face and coax his head down towards hers. His mouth opened for her automatically, his hands going to her hips, holding her as tight as he could.

“It’s okay,” she whispered, forehead pressing to his. “It’s all gonna be okay.”

Castiel only kissed her again in desperate response and Anna moaned lightly, allowing him to slip his hands underneath her sleep vest. Their one night together hadn’t left him any less hesitant, but clothing fell away, her skin against his apparently still such a revelation.

She allowed him to lift her onto the table, his lips and hands on her body almost too gentle as they kissed and fell into a slow, easy rhythm with Anna teaching him to rock his hips in time to the base tempo. He sighed his pleasure into the crook of her neck, unsure but slowly finding his confidence.

She squeezed him close as she breathed his name, all four limbs twining tightly around him. “I’m here,” she whispered. “You have me.”  
 _Nothing can bring me peace, I've lost everything_

 

7\. The Dream – The Birthday Massacre.  
“Why do you like this one so much?” he asked.

_You’re not the first to dream this, little girl._

It’d been three days since the Apocalypse didn’t happen. Three days since Castiel had given up the opportunity to rejoin the Host and Anna had allowed him to seek her out. There was no going back for her, either. It hadn’t even crossed her mind, so it came to the two of them, just sitting on a hotel bed with Chinese take away and getting to know each other all over again.

Castiel was understandably restless and asked thousands of questions. She’d put the music back on in hopes it would take his mind off the decision a little, but as always, his overactive, analytical mind needed more than that.

She was surprised to find that she actually didn’t mind giving him what he needed. Nor did she mind wearing his shirt for the time being. It was all strangely comfortable.

Anna smirked. “If you’d actually listen, you’d understand.”

_She never did what they told her to._

After a second, he frowned. “The character in question is very obstinate,” he said. “Even though her intentions may mean her own end.”

She leaned forward to kiss him on the nose. “Mm-hm. Remind you of anyone?”

A spark of realization came over his face, his posture straightening a bit as he very nearly spilled a container of chicken on the sheet. “Oh.” he said quietly.

Anna laughed. “It’s okay, Cas. You’ll get it eventually.”

_And for the first time, she feels just fine._

 

8\. Sanctuary/PASSION – Utada  
 _I watch you, fast asleep - all I fear means nothing._  
It probably wasn’t the oddest thing they’d woken up to. Ever since Anna bought the iPod alarm clock, they’d been awakened by everything from Foreigner to Massive Attack, and for the most part, he’d been a good sport about it.

If he even woke up to hear the music at all.

He was currently dead to the world, face down in the pillow and so completely relaxed, Anna was reluctant to wake him at all. Though adjusting to humanity was difficult, he at least found some sort of peace while asleep. As long as they were together.

And a day of hunting followed by an evening of vigorous sex would exhaust anyone.

The sudden burst of drums snapped him to immediate attention, looking around wildly until his gaze fell on the device, frowning. Anna only smiled and laughed, stretching sleepily as she gestured for him to lie back down, head on her chest.

Half conscious, Castiel could only oblige. “I’m not sure I appreciate your taste in music,” he grumbled, eyes slipping closed again.

“Tough,” Anna replied simply, trying to get his hair to lie flat with little success. “Find some stuff you like and make a playlist.”

He made some sort of sound, probably half-annoyed that she wouldn’t let him go back to sleep. She tilted her head down until her lips were against his ear. “Everyone has to wake up sometime.”

He shifted, just enough to snake an arm around her slim waist and pull her closer. “Yes,” he said. “But not now.”

_(I need more affection than you know)_

 

9\. Your Ghost – Greg Laswell  
But all of that was pure speculation on Castiel’s part, of course. Human minds led to human thoughts. He wouldn’t have even deigned to imagine such impossibilities otherwise.

In the end, Anna was still gone. Burned into nothing without so much as an imprint of her wings. As he sat at Bobby Singer’s kitchen table on what was his definitely his seventh beer, and quietly waiting out his last night on Earth, he knew that.

Yet, he couldn’t help but sense something else in the room.

_I think last night, you were driving circles around me._

He wouldn’t mention a word of it in the morning. After all, he was still slightly concussed and drunk. The presence of warmth and fire could merely be the alcohol.

His mobile rang – vibrated even on the table. Not unusual. There wasn’t so much as a text message on the screen.

Even so, he looked at the beer bottle and put it down. Anna would have wanted him to.


End file.
